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The Quintessentially - You Podcast
I want to lift the lid on men's mental health. Men are struggling to share their concerns for fear that they will be ridiculed, or that it will be viewed as a sign of weakness.
I have spoken to countless men who actually get to a point and think what am I doing, what is my purpose in life, what happens next?
Hopefully I can bring real stories to you about real people with a view to show that it is alright to not have all the answers, that it is alright to share with someone with whom you trust if you are struggling.
Please like, comments and share the podcast if you believe it would benefit a friend, colleague, member of your family.
I am looking to change lives one person at a time because #everymancounts!!
I have included a number of websites below that may be helpful. I have no affiliation with any of these websites, some are known to me, but the majority have been taken from google.
UK Mental Health Support - Mind
Men's Line Australia
Men's Mental Health NZ
Men's Mental Health North America
The Quintessentially - You Podcast
Steven Misa - from Boots & Linament to Suits & CEO's
Ever wondered what happens to professional athletes when their sporting careers end? Tune in as we speak with Steven Misa, as he transitions from the rugby field to the business world and beyond. Listen to their touching narratives as he shares his journey, on sports mentoring to helping support business owners.
In our intimate conversation with Steve, you'll be moved by his determination to turn obstacles into opportunities. After a career-altering concussion, he found a new purpose in mentoring and helping others, a satisfaction he equates to the thrill of a winning match. We also hear from Steven, who's redefined his life purpose post-sporting career, and uses his experiences to support others.
Listen as he talks about training for a charity half marathon, his future marathon plans and how he's encouraging young athletes to listen to their bodies. Don't miss out on these compelling stories of resilience, transition, and self-discovery.
You are listening to the Quintessentially - You Podcast, where we share journeys and shift minds because #everymancounts.
So this next chat with Steve is about transitioning out of rugby and into what happens next. So listen up. If you're here for the first time, you'll enjoy it. If you're here again, you'll enjoy it. Steve's a great guy. The first two parts of this conversation have been fantastic. Had some great responses, some great comments from people as well and great feedback. So thank you very much and, yeah, just let's get stuck into it. Enjoy. I know it's afforded you the opportunity to do some work from this holding point of view. Can you touch on that?
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I pretty much, when I was going through my recovery and rehab, a CEO of the company I work for at the moment. So the CEO of Alan Ford Group gave me a call because he heard that I was out of rugby and with my concussion and while I was going through rehab he said oh, you know, do you reckon you want to give it a shot in this space now, since you know you can look after your body and your head? And I actually said no. I said oh, I don't know, probably not, because I was. There's that barrier already. Like, you know, my agent, you know do all the emails, you know, and anything. So for me I was like, oh, my gosh, a kid, you know, born in Tonga, you know, going into this business thing. So he said have a think about it. And then so he called me again and asked me, and I was I was still on the fence and he said just come and give it a go a week and then you know you can go back to it. So then I was like, oh, you know, okay, I'll give it a go, the best opportunity I ever got, and I love it. You know I'm writing, you know everyone, I'm emailing many people I'm sitting down with, with bosses, general managers, you know, and just a growth form from that. So that's kind of where I bring in a bit of my mentorship to you and think of my journey. If I actually said no to the CEO then I wouldn't have this opportunity to learn how to break through their barrier.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and, and actually so my whole journey from ever since my concussion kind of, has been just soaking in everything and seeing everything. So, and I always say, I finally realized that the good stuff, or the stuff that you know actually helped build you, is on the other side of your obstacle. Yes, so when I get around the kids or communities or youth, and when I'm speaking to them, it's around. That only stops us from being successful. And because we always put a barrier and let's call hard barrier in front of everything. And that's where my journey now is. I can't run the marathon with my head full, but it's me figuring out how am I going to get past the finishing line with listening to my head at the same time. So you know, doing the marathon and then obviously, doing everything, I just want to do things.
Speaker 2:So when I'm speaking to the kids, I'm speaking from my experience and I'm not telling anyone else's story, but my journey and my mistakes and my learnings and how I got through it, because you know someone out there kind of needy is wanting to hear how I fix this or how I got through this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so that's pretty much the whole and going back to it, so I got. So I'm a business development manager for OYINX business in Aotearoa, so I pretty much roam around New Zealand and I help businesses that want to obviously scale or grow so we have start up or businesses that are already operating, so I pretty much help them out, bringing them into my beautiful team in the office and they go through and how. So well, I kind of focus on where I want to put them out there or who I want to connect them with. So you know, loving that space, I think, just being coming from concussion into that space, still being able to, I think the satisfaction of watching small businesses grow and knowing that I was a part of that journey, that reward is, you know, it's a different feeling and then I'll take that into you.
Speaker 1:It reminds me of being a coaching like from a sporting background. You know you're building those relationships, you're putting them in the right place, helping them sort of build the skills that they need to and then and then setting them up for, you know, sustained sustainability to be either good players or good businesses. It sounds awesome and I know that you're still heavily involved with in the rugby side of things in Hamilton. Just to want to describe how that's going.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I am involved in a few. So, obviously, when I came up to Hamilton for Waikato, hamilton Marist was my club back in 2014. And that's when I caught where we won the. We actually set a record there the only team to win their competition three times ever. So I caught the two years that we won that. That, yeah, their competition so. And then I obviously left.
Speaker 2:So back to the rugby. I think, coming off, I knew if I just took off and did the business and not, you know, be around the rugby, that would have been cool, I guess, for me, because then I can just focus on, solely on that. But I felt I always had that feeling of giving, giving my skills, giving my my experience, giving my knowledge and passing it on to someone you know. So for me it was like, oh, if I could share with, I'll share with everyone by the end of the day, when we go to battle is who's got the biggest heart? It's not really kind of who's got the biggest skills. You know, it's like you have the heart to go, you go. So I kind of felt that I had to come back and give back. For me now I would say I don't enjoy watching rugby because it's kind of I'm like, damn, I'm still a thing, I could go out there and play.
Speaker 2:The way I give back is by coaching. I coached the women this year and that went well. I loved it. And now I'm just doing a bit of one-on-one coaching with the hookers. So Kieran came in last year.
Speaker 2:When I was towards the end of last year, kieran came to the club and all the coaches asked me to come meet this young kid. So obviously he came and met him and I said to him he was looking for club and I said I would. If you're hungry, I'll teach you. And now I'm giving back to the rugby. It's something that I'm not going to use anymore. So for me these little kids can use it and if I don't pass it on then they're going to have to go figure out how to do it and take it a long way. So I'm like, give it back to them and they can grow from there and do it better. That's why I do try to get around. What I'm doing now is a lot on my plate, but for me it's important for me to pass it on whatever knowledge I have for them to grow their game.
Speaker 1:And again, with the mentoring that you're doing with the young ones, are they coming from different backgrounds? Are they from a sporting background or just from a youth background?
Speaker 2:Yeah, pretty much just more using the sports, because everyone come through to the sport and you get the odd out there, ones where they're from I guess the community, but most of them are around the rugby environment.
Speaker 1:And I know that you and Jack Lam have been doing work together, haven't you?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I've been doing this by myself, off obviously everything they do and then catching up one on one with some of the boys and I touch base with the coaches and sometimes they give me a player and so I'll reach out to the player and I'll sit down and have a coffee or a breakfast with them and just get to know what they're going through or what they're going through, and that's something that Jack is passionate about, obviously, helping the boys me to space and everything. So I found out when I called out with Jack and we our coach, craig, and where she have similar passion for that space. So me and Jack and Craig ended up obviously forming a group and Meris and the name of our group is our group and that's just men and the purpose of the group is to come together. We come together once a month, yeah, and with you know, once a month we might do a coffee and just share, you know. So it's led by me and Jack and it's the I guess the big rock behind it is an open space for everyone to and also for the club.
Speaker 2:You know the things that we talk about in there, cause these are the men, these are the men of the club. So whatever we come up with, you know that goes through to the club, I guess. And there's also a space where young, young men of the clubs come in and actually see the change or see the being vulnerable, or see a massive opportunity just to get together. You know, laugh, reset, get inspired, you know, feel like your value. It's a real fuel and then go back out to the world again, cause you know you can't control what happens around the world, but you can control what happens within your circle. Yeah, and there's pretty much sharing and advising each other and you know those things that you can do. You can't control what life throws at you, but you can control how you pay yourself.
Speaker 1:Exactly, and I think that's probably a good point to finish up today's conversation, because I know you know we said I said 30 minutes and you can get carried away when we're talking about something that you're really into. So, yes, Look, I appreciate you giving up your evening. Stephen is today or later on this evening in New Zealand. On Saturday, the 11th of November, we'll be running a half marathon for a charity, so do you want to just briefly cover that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, so tonight at 8 pm Will be or what a shame of me, I actually forgot them. Marathon. Why we're running, but we are running for charity. I Think it's cancer. We're running for this afternoon or Tonight and as a journey that I've started just so I can. When I speak to the youth and and everyone is it's rare to find a tongue and running marathon. So for me it's doing the things that. Oh see, running, I hate running, but the things there's good For for people, for for me is the things that I don't like. So now I'm kind of doing the opposite. So I've done. This will be my fourth, half a month on so me and the CEO.
Speaker 2:We kind of I, got inspired by him and what he was doing Well, obviously, setting up the fire marathon. So I actually jump on board and I said you know why not would do it. So Today will be our fourth marathon. So we've done the Mount Taranga, our first one, cambridge, auckland last week, and then we decided to back it up two weeks apart and do Wellington. So there'll be the fourth one and I think On the 10th of December will be off fifth a marathon. So once it's all completed Then we will look into a full marathon next year.
Speaker 2:But each marathon has been Unbroken by the end of it. But is Is how I got through it that I take into what I do in life. I know when you went the whole during it, maybe we're nearly that 16, 17 Kilometer mark where everything starts playing in your head and you're wondering how to get it's, figuring out how to get to that line and in some time it's just taking one step at a time. And that's what I take into. Life is when you hit a brick wall or you think you're you're going downhill is take one step at a time, figure out the next step and before you know it I see the finishing line.
Speaker 1:Now you're right the values and the values to live by.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so yeah, I guess I'm gonna get some, some good rest and then I'm excited to see what Wellington I heard is. It's got a bit of hill in this track, but I'm hoping it's not.
Speaker 1:It's all hell if you're not coming. If you're not coming down, you're going up. Thanks for the help. Great, you're welcome. I remember when I was at police college in, you know, and put it on Well, it was just one of those places where it was beautiful, loved living there. You know, love my time in Wellington, but it was. It was pretty hilly. I didn't realize it until I got there. You'll be alright, though, one step at a time. There'd be loads of other people there as well, so you know you'll be carried along. So I look forward to hearing how one, how you get on, you know, and then the next one, and I'll share. I'll share with you my half marathon that I'm supposed to be doing before Christmas, so we can compare, compare apples with apples.
Speaker 2:Maybe next time we're in New Zealand would do one together.
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely that'd be great. Yeah, well, I can do some training. Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1:Stephen, thank you so much for coming on tonight. The lessons and your journey that you've shared with everybody, I think, gives a lot, of, a lot more context to what happens behind the scenes. For young men and women who are out there who may be wanting to start a journey down the professional, and it's sport in general as opposed to just rugby, but rugby specific, and you know, it just gives them a taste of their journey as their journey, whatever that looks like, it's not linear. It can take you here, there and everywhere, as you've described tonight. But, like you say, it's A understanding what your body is saying, b understanding what your mind's saying and C one step at a time, perfect, awesome.
Speaker 2:Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1:Well, I hope you've enjoyed that episode today. Interviewing Steve was so much fun. A great guy and you know, I think, and I'm pretty sure you'll agree if you've listened to all three chats, you'll you by now will have a fantastic understanding of what makes Steven Tick and his journey. He doesn't need his concussion to find him. He's using his passion for supporting people to, you know, transition out of playing rugby and to becoming a really successful business mentor, and I think that's fantastic. That's one of the reasons why I started the podcast to speak to different people, to understand their journey, see what makes them tick and see if they could offer up, you know, nuggets of gold around to learn from that can help us make different decisions, Encourage us to do different things, step out of our comfort zone, and I think we've done that with Steve. So I'm very grateful that he was able to spare time to listen and to share his story with us.
Speaker 1:Thanks for listening in today. If it's your first time, please come back again If you've listened before. Thank you so much. I love the support that I'm getting from out in the public and from me to you. You've been listening to the Quindicentially you podcast today. My name is Craig Bartlett. Thanks for listening in and to me. I do this because every man counts. Take care and bye for now.