The Quintessentially - You Podcast
I want to lift the lid on men's mental health. Men are struggling to share their concerns for fear that they will be ridiculed, or that it will be viewed as a sign of weakness.
I have spoken to countless men who actually get to a point and think what am I doing, what is my purpose in life, what happens next?
Hopefully I can bring real stories to you about real people with a view to show that it is alright to not have all the answers, that it is alright to share with someone with whom you trust if you are struggling.
Please like, comments and share the podcast if you believe it would benefit a friend, colleague, member of your family.
I am looking to change lives one person at a time because #everymancounts!!
I have included a number of websites below that may be helpful. I have no affiliation with any of these websites, some are known to me, but the majority have been taken from google.
UK Mental Health Support - Mind
Men's Line Australia
Men's Mental Health NZ
Men's Mental Health North America
The Quintessentially - You Podcast
Fili Verebalavu and Nick Turnbull - Coaching with Empathy: Supporting Athletes' Mental Well-Being and Harnessing Emotional Intelligence
What does it take to support an athlete's mental well-being while maintaining a strong team culture? How does emotional intelligence intersect with technical skillset in successful coaching? Let's dive into these questions in today's discussion. We delve into the crucial aspect of understanding and supporting the mental health of athletes, focusing on empathy, patience, and trust-building. You'll gain insights into how to assist a player struggling with a bad headspace without disrupting the team's culture, emphasizing the importance of honesty, directness, and accountability.
In the second half of our chat, we unpack the marriage of mindset, emotional intelligence, and technical prowess in coaching. We'll explore how acknowledging athletes as individuals, not just performers, can lead to coaching success. Drawing inspiration from two exemplary coaches, Jason and Daryl, we highlight the significance of understanding athletes on a deeper level and preparing them for their journey to success. This episode promises to be a treasure trove of knowledge for coaches aiming to enhance their emotional intelligence and learn the true value of caring for their players. Listen in as we shine a light on fostering a positive mindset and the role of emotional intelligence in crafting top-notch athletes.
You are listening to the Quintessentially - You Podcast, where we share journeys and shift minds because #everymancounts.
If you came across a player who you got a really good sense wasn't in a good headspace you may have already done that with. You may have really come across somebody like this how would you get with you know the things, the way you found these are back home and culture, how would you deal with it, and sort of what kind of process would you go through to help work with?
Speaker 2:him. I tried to, yeah, first get to know him, like not try to sing in the amount of train, not try to be too hard on him, because I know that he already knows because he's going through and then slowly go to the gym with him, try and get to a player, because if there are a lot of boys around he won't, he won't open up. So basically build it from a team environment and then slowly probably take me back, maybe three months, work him towards where he where I already trust that probably like go have a coffee, but here by in lunch. So here we buy, we buy the person up, so probably go to the market in sewer and buy him lunch and then we'll talk. But it has to be a straight talk and for us, as hygiene, you have to be very straight. The only way you can do that is once you build back, like try not to sing in the amount, but once that happens, once he's opened up, then you have to be very direct. So here it's more like you have to be there, keep him accountable. So what is he vulnerable with? Is it time? Is it his thought process? What is it home? Does he need to find a job? Is he broke, does he need to find a job, is it his friends, or things like that. And then basically I suggest stuff. I suggest the, so it'll be.
Speaker 2:Once we get to talk, every week I'll suggest okay, where did you go after the game, where you're going, or more Sometimes, because some of the boys are already doing that. Straight after the game they'll tell me. So we, they'll be smiling, we just going to drink cover and then we're going home. So I was like, oh, it's all right, I know, but I also know if 4 am, I wake up to go to the bathroom in your messenger icon is still on, he's still will be out there. So but it's like that.
Speaker 2:But it's also to joke around sometimes because most of them they don't have anyone to talk to, or it's trying to put out a facade where they were, because they are boys, they are guys, that they can't be vulnerable. So that's the other thing is just to make, just go, understand whether they can be vulnerable or whether they've never been vulnerable, and it's like that. So once I figured that out, I know how long it can take. But yeah, but basically not cut them out from the team. So they're still involved in team training. But also we have to see from whatever what we are lacking in is, does it cause problems in our team culture? If it does, then yeah, then it'll have to involve our head coach and stuff. If they are fine in terms of performance and playing as a team. But outside that, then yeah, then it'll be one on one. But you have to build towards that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, basically, that's what I'm saying Brilliant, tell us about some of the. It's a question. I'm just sort of the way I'm asking. It doesn't sound like it is. So from a work perspective, there's a lot of processing that goes on and a lot of analyzing goes on. How much of that sort of mindset and approach do you use when you're dealing with sort of set piece and dealing with players?
Speaker 3:I think mindset and again I'll pay tribute to Jason right Mindset, skillset structure. So mindset is so important. But it's one of the things I tell the lads that I coach If you're, no matter how much you can lift or how fast you can run or how well you can pass or whatever, I mean, if your mind's not on then it's not on. So mindset and having that clarity of what you're going out to do today and how you're going to do it, it's more important than most of the drills. I've got to obviously go through the drills usually that confidence in that mindset. But you have to have emotional intelligence to coach. In my opinion, if you cannot tap into another person, you don't understand who you're coaching. You don't have to know their life story, but if you're not interested in them as a human, I don't care what you say, but I've seen some really technically good scrumming in their day. They're not interested in who they're teaching and you just say to the boys okay, you're a great boy, you can write the files and they're moving to what time you're going to date opportunity this year to work with just a tremendous human being by the name of Daryl Makamara who's now gone up to coach at Hano Red Lions in Japan.
Speaker 3:Okay, and when people in the world go, who's Daryl Makamara? Well, I can assure you he knows a lot of the top scrumming coaches and the styling of himself. One of the first things now about Daryl is he knows his onions. He's just a tremendous bike like he's just he cares about his pipes and he engages with him. So, and I would just shout out Daryl and would watch how he would prepare an analysis for the front row, that okay, and he'd sit down with the prop but look individually how you think you're going there. And then to the line up guys. He had all their games sorted out because he'd spent. He put the time into them as people and he put the time into them on their game.
Speaker 3:So it's just a. It's just a marriage of understanding your athlete and understanding your game and work on both. So technically, I've learned a huge amount off Daryl in that space, but it just really, just really amplified the message of know your athlete and want to know them. Don't know them because you want to get a result out of them. Know them because you know you.
Speaker 3:Just like I said, if you don't care and if you don't have that ability to try and emotionally understand where someone is. I just don't think you're going to go too far in catching. It's my humble opinion. And this is a guy from country rural Ireland who had a wonderful relationship with guys from the Pacific areas and they loved him. And if he could have been in the dressing room when Daryl received his send off, they would go people from all walks of life, all different parts of the world, different races, the whole bit. But the love for this guy transcends all that because he just knew his stuff and he wanted to teach it and he wanted to teach it to the people he cared about and the club that he cared about. It's pretty basic stuff when you think about it, but if you don't have, you're always technically upskill. But if you don't care who you're trying to upskill, you're always going to be able to get to the top of the table.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, I think one thing that's coming through today is and that's the reason why I think it's important to be aware of what it is you've got to be quite essential to you.